It had been such a long week for me—-in fact, a length of time more than a week to be exact. Remember how the Beatles sung about “A Hard Day’s Night”? Just imagine how it would be if the guys from Liverpool were referring to a whole week, or a length of time more than a week?
How does it feel to be emotionally drained—-like many use to say? Now perhaps, I know what it exactly means.
It’s much luck that Thursday (otherwise known as today) is the start of a very long weekend where the kids have no classes and the wife is at home from work. It makes it easier for me when she’s around for that way, the kids won’t go as unruly and virtually tugging at my shirt all day long. When their Mom is at home, they’d mostly troop to her almost all the time, asking for this and that, questioning this and that, telling stories from school and beyond, of ghosts and monsters now that it’s All Soul’s Day, forgetting somehow about their father that is presently ensconced in this small sectional room with a computer.
When I am tired and drained like this, I would mostly feel like I need to divert my thoughts from the ordinary and do so something unexpected. Years ago, as a form of diversion, I would relax my inner self through music, going downtown and scouring every records store for new music releases, and buying lots of them. It was a relatively expensive habit that as other expenses rose, it became more and more unattainable. I stopped doing that for more than a couple of years or so. It drains the pocket, you know. It did re-energized my inner self almost every time, but it drained the pocket like nothing would, while in these hard economic times, that proverbial pocket isn’t always full, unlike years ago, when I was working for an internationally-funded agency receiving an unbelievably high salary rate compared to the average pay of anyone in the population. But acquiring new music was such a reinvigorating activity for me back then, whenever the spirit is down and drained.
Nowadays, I would most likely go in front of the computer, log-in into the whole wide web, and do one of my most favorite activity in recent times, and that is, looking and searching for new blog designs throughout and try it on my blog, like a new shirt. It would take me almost three to four hours to complete one installation. When I was not as eloquent in porting Wordpress designs into my Blogsome site before, it had taken me more than a week to finish one (would you believe?). But now, practice and tenacity had shortened that period into just merely 3 hours, and if the design is uncomplicated and without so much of an image in it, it would take not more than an hour.
So there, as you see, I am suiting this new blog design called Summer Fruit. It’s red and very Web 2.0. Glossy and modern. Fun and unpretentious. I hope you would not mind this so much. I am worried somehow that my readers would find this to be completely ridiculous, that there goes Major Tom once again, with yet another design, when he had just had another just weeks ago. I am worried how perhaps this frequent design changes would make them very uncomfortable, thinking how I could not make up my mind, that I am so fleeting and indecisive. And you may think like it’s maybe some form of psychosis that Major Tom has (har..har) and I hope it’s not. Hey, I assure you it’s not.
Designing I say is a very addictive undertaking. Creation is an addiction sometimes. Like one could always feel in control of everything, like I could bring up something out of nothing. In a sudden, I feel such invincibility and might—-that in my hand lies how my website would look like and no one, exactly no one could interfere with that. Now, there goes some suspected complex. But I am just overemphasizing for a little jest. All in all, redesigning soothes my tired spirit and reinvigorates my inner self and it is generally therapeutic and soothing.
So I hope you would not mind so these frequent redesigns. Most blog experts advise against this habit for they say it is not good for readership, as readers could shy away from a site that is always changing in look, taking the readers out of sort. But you know, I feel confident with my blog readers, especially among my blog friends who frequent The Citizen On Mars, and they’d be here no matter what.
So you’d wonder why I was so drained in the first place, as I’ve mentioned initially.
About a week ago—-more than a week ago to be exact—-an old friend came visiting with a good news in hand. King Sali went literally bursting into our gate and excitedly informed me that there was an available teaching position in the University (the Western Mindanao State University) where he teaches the Indonesian Bahasa Language and where I had gained my law degree. A day after that, I had a teaching demo in front of Dean Eddie Ladja of the Institute of Asian and Islamic Studies, with all his teaching staff present. I discussed and presented a topic that I am relatively adept at considering the very short period of preparation I had been allowed and inspite of that, Dean Ladja was impressed by my delivery and commented how while I was not an Education graduate, I seem to have palpable proficiency for it. Well, I am not really that distant from teaching. My other alma mater, Ateneo de Zamboanga, had frequently asked me to conduct lectures in the past, mostly on Literature and Poetry, having been an Editor-In-Chief of the college publication there. In my days as a President of the student body in WMSU, I had also spoken in front of students, even in other schools, to invite more and more enrollees into the University, which was a customary duty of the student body there, when I thought that the University should have had a certain department especially tasked for this, like in Ateneo.
So I am not stranger to teaching and conversing in front of students that it was one reason that I had a very good demo, as observed by Dean Ladja himself.
But there’s an interlude to this whole episode (which by now you would have known as the cause of my most recent emotional debacle) where three days after, two other aspirants for the same teaching position that I had applied for was given the opportunity to present their teaching proficiency in front of the IAIS teaching staff and of course, I was caught in great suspense after that, trying to anticipate what the results might be, after being told how the teaching loads would mostly tackle Current Issues and Asian Studies, which I fully believe that I could handle well, and which is so close to my heart especially at these times when I am most interested in global issues and information, and I felt like I wanted the position so badly.
On Thursday, King Sali reappeared almost bursting once gain through our iron gate and congratulated me, informing even my mother-in-law who was at the sala at that time that I am about to be teaching in WMSU by November. Of course, I was so ecstatic about this.
But since then, I felt that nothing is sure unless I get my official designation and I was always hoping that Dean Ladja would have issued them to me as soon as possible. Am I so impatient at times? I was, but for no other reason except that I was such in great suspense, of whether I would really get it or not, of whether they would entirely choose me above the two others or not. And this had made me so nervous and irresolute.
But yesterday, the head of the Asian Studies section of the institute, Mr. Jabeer Saymaran, had finally communicated to me and handed me the list of subjects I was to handle and mind you, I never felt so ecstatic in a long, long time.
I am not really such in desperation but when the teaching loads were initially broached to me by King, upon being informed on what topics they might span through—-on Asian issues and matters—-I felt like I wanted it so badly.
But that whole weeklong episode had emotionally drained me so much that I was of such luck that Thursday (or today) is the start of a very long weekend, when the kids are at home from school and the wife telling stories to the kids, and where I could be by my lonesome, infront of the computer, redesigning my site and writing this very long post.
I hope it wasn’t too long for you.
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